Tag Archive | Humor

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The Handyman Club of America

So tonight I was opening my mail while I was sitting in my living room with my wife and a friend.  This is not a typical practice for me, but a particular letter caught my eye.  It was a direct mail piece sent to me specificly from the Handyman Club of America.  Now, subsequent internet searches have told me this really isn’t worth my time, but I was curious so I read a few paragraphs out loud.  It seemed pretty legit until I ready the following:

“It’s my pleasure to inform you that YOU HAVE BEEN NOMINATED TO BECOME AN OFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE CLUB…Why you?  Well it’s no secret among your friends and family that you are an oustanding handyman.”

Now my questions is this: Should I be more offended that this was a lie (no one really nominated me) or that those in the living room with me laughed in a significant way when I read this statement out loud?  You be the judge.

How You Know You’ve Been Part of a House Church For A While…

We’ve just crossed over the two-year mark with our house church here in Eastern Iowa.  Ariel, our daughter was born just a few months before we started meeting together as a church and has grown up largely outside of what is conventianlly understood as a “church.”   So how do we know we’ve been in a house church for a while?

The other day my wife was driving through a part of our neighborhood we don’t normally drive by with our kids in the backseat.  She passed by a traditional church building with a tall white steeple that looks like it was built in the 30’s or 40’s.  My daughter, who is obsessed with everything related to princesses, shouts out, “Look, mommy, CASTLE!”

Why You Should Always Read The Whole Article…

So I’m cruising through Foxnews.com and I come across an article about Gmail failing during the early morning hours yesterday.  Being somewhat concerned as a user and staunch advocate of most Google products, I read the article:

“Google’s Gmail online e-mail service ran out of juice for several hours Tuesday morning for users in Europe and possibly worldwide.”

Now you should know that Google was predictably unclear about what the problem was and if you should be concerned.  It seems they were mostly concerned about calming people down. Their response was this:

“We’re aware of a problem with Gmail affecting a small subset of users,” read a posting at 5:46 a.m. EST in a GMail help forum.

Later, at 8:48 a.m., another post read, “The problem is now resolved and users have had access restored. We know how important Gmail is to our users, so we take issues like this very seriously, and we apologize for the inconvenience.”

But the real story was found when you got to the bottom of the article.  Never let a journalism proffessor tell you the most important facts are at the top of the story.  The journalist writing the story goes on to describe the reaction of the “Twitosphere” but unwittingly uncovers the truth of the entire story:

“When Chuck Norris uses Gmail, the whole world waits until he’s done,” the posting read — in French.”

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Dr. Seuss On The Brain

Which is worse: Being able to almost fully recite the text of Dr. Seuss’ ABC’s or having your daughter correct you when you can’t quite get the words right?

Ah well…it might have something to do with the fact that I’ve covered this story somewhere before.  (And yes, I know, the song doesn’t play.  Maybe that’s a good thing.)

The Irony

Why is it that when I had no internet access at all I couldn’t barely stand all the cool things that were going on that I could not write about?  Ideas were coming to me and the thought of not being able to blog was killing me.

Now that I have the internet again?  Yeah, I got nothing.  I think you see where this is going.

Heard In My House…

This is Part II of my continuing coverage of  “Snow Fury 2008.”  You can catch Part I here.

Christy was in our son’s room and I was near the window.  A loud, gravely noise makes its way past our house.  I look outside expecting to see a snow plow, but instead see a beat up old van…the kind you’d expect to see on my side of town.

Travis: “Wow…you know it’s bad when you expect to see a snow plow moving past the house and instead you see a beat up old mini-van.”

Christy: “That wasn’t a snow plow?”

You heard it here first, folks…